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Tolstoy's opening (happy = alike / unhappy = unalike) is apt since he is contrasting an unhappy family (A.K-Vronsky) and a happy family (Lev & Kitty). Nabokov's inversion is, to some extent, apropos for a family history set on ANTI-terra. But one wonders who the "happy family" may be. Certainly neither of the Durmanov-Veen marriages are happy. Nor is Van & Ada's until very late in the day.
Equally puzzling is VN's pronouncement that the formula "has little if any relation to the story to be unfolded." At least on the surface, the disclaimer seems to be true BUT Nabokov oftens covertly calls attention to important facts by dismissing them in advance. (See "The Vane Sisters" for blatant examples.) Ideas?