The Felix, Student Newspaper of Imperial College, Friday 7th February, 1997, Issue 1078:
In a move which is sure to make die hard scientists slap their forehead with a Homer Simpson like "Doh" our Roy EXCLUSIVELY reveals the existence of the smallest particle in the Universe: the orgitron.
Unfortunately for scientists, they will never be able to see it because "it is unlikely that any electron microscope will ever be able to see it because it is so tiny as to be virtually undetectable; in fact it is so tiny, it
practically doesn't exist at all." He also shows how "matter is simply pressurised 'crystallised' pre-time force flowing now in what has become a river of time"
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